TV Land

Before I was a parent I was a teacher.  I have to admit that I was probably a little judgmental as I got to know my students and learned how things went at home - bedtimes, when homework was done, what movies or t.v. shows they were allowed to watch, what responsibilities they did (or didn't have), etc.  Ashamedly, I often found myself thinking thoughts that began with, "When I'm a parent..."  For all the non-parents who may be reading this, trust me... it's dangerous territory.  For all the parents who may be reading this, you probably know what I mean.  


One of those areas that I've been recently challenged in over the last several months now is television.  In our house, we're not big t.v. people... and I'm proud of that.  But sometimes on those Wednesday mornings when I think, "Wow... What exactly have I accomplished this week?" - it's so easy to let the tube provide the entertainment and teaching for my toddler.   I'm guilty.  Initially I didn't think too much about it.  Jadon hardly watched any t.v. all summer.  He preferred to be outside.  So, as we fell into our new routine, I began to feel a bit convicted (and rightly so).  


I asked myself the question, "What role do I want the television to play in my son's daily life?"  I know of families who don't even have a t.v.  I honestly have to wonder how they do it; and at the same time a small part of me almost desires to toss ours in the trash at times (I said almost).  I don't want t.v. to be the teacher, but what t.v. my toddler does watch I want to be instructional/educational.  I don't want the t.v. to be Jadon's source of entertainment, but I'm okay with him being entertained by it from time to time.  I want what programming that he does watch to encourage his imagination and creativity, but not take the place of it.

Thankfully my conviction turned into action (which is not always the case).  So, here are some guidelines that our family has come up with for toddler t.v in our home. 

No t.v. after 9:30 a.m. (if it's been on at all). 
Jadon is typically awake for the day between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.  In the next 3 hours, we will all be getting dressed/showered for the day and eat breakfast.  Andy will get ready to head out the door (make coffee, get a lunch together), and I usually clean up from breakfast and empty the dishwasher.  How does Jadon fit into all this?  Obviously he has to get ready for the day (dressed and teeth brushed), but it's really easy for Andy and I to go through our routines and suddenly realize that our son has been doing nothing but sitting in front of the tube.  

We've come to the point that we're okay with a little bit of t.v. during this part of the day (hence the guideline for this part).  What we've also done is made more of an effort to include Jadon in our morning routine.  This could include anything from picking out his clothes and getting himself dressed (a recent accomplishment), to helping get breakfast ready, to helping me empty the dishwasher (he pretty much puts everything away that belongs in the lower cabinets and drawers).  


Let me just say that once we implemented this rule, the t.v. time in the morning nearly vanished!  And, get this... No one has missed it!


Be picky.
I'm super picky about what Jadon is allowed to watch.  So much, in fact, that he knows some of the shows that he can't watch and will tell me if it's coming on next or just turn the t.v. off himself.  Andy is picky, too, and has been known to point out some aspects of certain shows that I felt were okay that maybe weren't as great as I thought.  

I do some research, pay attention to commercials for these programs, evaluate what fellow parents think, and ask myself if the show emphasizes qualities that we also encourage in our parenting.  We tend to look for programs that are intentionally educational, encourage imagination and creativity, and do not go against the qualities that we are trying to instill in our son.  Red flags for us are programs that emphasize whining, complaining, selfishness, and egocentrism.  When it comes down to it, at this point I'm okay with about 75% of the programming on PBS, and then a few shows on the Disney Channel and Nick Jr.  

Stick with 1/2 hour (or less) programs
I find that this prevents endless t.v. watching.  Reserve movies as "special treats", like a family movie night, or the third rainy day in a row, or when a parent is feeling under the weather.  


Make your child turn off the the t.v.  
This sounds ridiculous, I know.  We've really found that this works for Jadon.  Not everyone is okay with their child touching the t.v. (ours is older and not a flat screen - yes, we live in the dark ages), but we're fine with it at this point.  It really seems that by having Jadon physically turn the t.v. off when a show is over he's actually embracing the guideline, rather than having no other choice because it was turned off for him.  We've practiced this so much, in fact, that he will turn it off all on his own accord (even if I didn't say, "When this show is over the t.v. goes off."), and even when I'm not in the room.  It's amazing.  It has totally eliminated the tendency to watch show after show... even when a channel reels a child in my showing the preview for what is next as soon as the current show ends.  


Conclusions
Although this was definitely no scientific process, I know that I've seen awesome results in Jadon as a direct result of us tightening up on the television.  

Jadon's t.v. watching has come way down.  He watches little to no shows in the morning.  The only consistent time in his day that he watches t.v (20-30 min.) is before his nap and this is for two reasons: 1, it's the best routine on the 3 days that I watch another boy while I'm getting him down for his nap; and 2, it really does seem to help slow his body down in preparation for taking a nap. 


Jadon may watch one show around the time that I am preparing supper (let's be honest, that's often essential in preventing meals that consist of blackened shoe leather and mush), and maybe one before bed, occasionally a movie.  


Maybe that still seems like a lot to some of you, or maybe a dream to others, but it works for us.  And this pregnant lady isn't exhausted trying to entertain a 2 year old throughout the day (at least not any more than I already was).  His imaginative play has soared over the last few months.  He's become extremely independent in his play, but has also grown in his family responsibility (discovering things that he no longer needs help with, and participating in chores and helpful things around the house).  Part of this is just him getting older, but another part is less time glued to the television.  He's thinking more.  He's not being entertained as much as he is creating his own entertainment.  


All this to say, whether it's t.v. or something else... whether you're a parent or not... it's important to take hold of areas of conviction in our lives and act on them in faith.  Prayerfully consider what is best for you (or your family) and do something about it, trusting that God will honor your intentions.  And for goodness sake... if you aren't a parent yet take it from me - don't fall into the trap of "When I'm a parent..." because you just don't know until you're up to your eyeballs in diapers and cheerios.  Truth. 


~ Carrie ~

Family Worship

Some time ago, Andy and I were contemplating how to implement a time of family devotions for the three of us.  It's really overwhelming to think about roping down an almost 3 year old to sit still and talk about God for any amount of time.  Let's be honest, getting through a mealtime prayer is often challenging enough!  

During the Advent season, our family has what we call an "advent tree" in which we put up a new ornament each day, in addition to reading a Bible story or passage of Scripture.  We also usually sang a Christmas song and always ended our time in prayer.  Jadon grew to love this time and would often ask multiple times throughout the day to put up a new ornament on the advent tree.  After Christmas was done and I took down the advent tree Jadon was a little upset.  Andy and I realized that this was a great opportunity to begin an actual family devotion time that we call "family worship".  Here's what it typically looks like:

What It Is 

• 10-12 minutes of time together as a family in the evening (after supper), usually on the couch
• Reading a story from the Jesus Storybook Bible
• Talking about the story and what we learn about God in this story
• Sing a song
• Close in prayer

Source: amazon.com via Carrie on Pinterest

This is an awesome time for our family to refocus and spend quality time together.  It doesn't happen every night, but I'd say we usually have family worship 4-5 times a week.  The funny thing is that when it slips our mind, Jadon always remembers.  He looks forward to it!  That's not to say that this time always goes smoothly and that our precious little toddler always cooperates.  There are some evenings when it would definitely be easier to throw in the towel and be done with it, but we press on because we see the time as being so beneficial!  

What It Isn't

Our family worship time is not a time for extreme structure, even though we pretty much follow the same routine each time.  Changing up the location, who reads, who prays, and what songs we sing make each time unique.  

This isn't a time for reinforcing good behavior or giving moralistic lessons.  It's an intentional time of sharing our love for Christ with our son and teaching him about all that God has done for us.

Why We Do It

For some parents out there, a time like this may seem impossible to achieve.  Our lives are so busy, schedules are filled, and people are tired all the time. 

It may even seem overwhelming if you don't see yourself as being gifted as a teacher.  Honestly, by using the Jesus Storybook Bible you are given a lot of direction for application.  In fact, I often find myself challenged by the readings in this Bible.  The writer of the Jesus Storybook Bible recently contributed an article on a well-known blog that addresses the challenges of teaching and applying the Bible for young children.  You can read the blog post here.  It's a very insightful article that really makes you think twice about how to apply the Bible to a life of any age.   

Our church is great (and getting even better) at instructing children through God's Word from a very early age.  We are so appreciative of that, and yet are very cautious that this is not the only or even the primary means of Jadon's biblical education.  Andy and I desire to express our love for Christ and all that He's done for us to our son, and not just on Sundays but everyday.  Our time of family worship is a great, intentional way to do that. 

I would totally encourage you to not wait until you think your child is "old enough" to understand everything or sit completely still for the whole time.  The sooner you start, the sooner both your child and you will begin reaping the benefits of this time spent in God's Word and in prayer.  

~ Carrie ~